|
Advanced Dating
After The First Date – What’s Next?
by Eugene Tan
Scenario 1:
You really like him/her
Congratulations! You have potentially found
your life partner. Notice that I emphasized the word
potentially because you can never judge a person on
a single date alone, no matter how much information
is exchanged during the conversation, or how
confident you are. This is akin to a candidate going
for a job interview – the employers will try their
best to find out about the candidate’s aptitude and
attitude during the job interview, but ultimately,
they will only find out the truth about the
candidate’s ability and work attitude when he starts
working in the company and interacting with his
fellow colleagues.
But if you like him/her and you believe there’s
potential for a serious relationship, that itself is
already a promising start. The following are some
tips on how you can proceed from here:
i) Find out
more about
the other party
You can do that in a few ways. First, ask her out
for a few more dates so that you can converse with
each other in person. In your conversation, don’t
get bogged down by trivia such as movie discussions
and celebrity gossip that you forget to ask about
the really important areas such as life goals,
values, views on family, and so on. Second, if
he/she is a friend’s friend, you can easily find out
more information about this person by asking.
ii) Develop
a closer rapport
Developing rapport is best done by sustained
communication - meaning, you don’t just talk for a
day and subsequently ignore the other party for the
whole of the week. Even if you’re busy with your
work, you should communicate via other channels such
as email, SMS, online chat. As you become more
comfortable with each other, you may gradually
reveal more personal information, and in the process
also find out more about each other. It takes time
to build a solid relationship, and developing a
close rapport by regular communication will put you
on the right track towards achieving that.
Next: What if you are not
sure?
Previous: Introduction to
Advanced Dating
page 2/5
page 3/5
|
