Advanced Dating

After The First Date – What’s Next?

by Eugene Tan

Scenario 2:
You are not sure if you like him/her

So, if you emerged from the first date unsure of whether you like the other party, what should you do next? I advise the following:

i) Don’t give up immediately

At my seminars, one of the all-time favourite questions that people like to ask me is, “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

Well, I strongly believe in it. But the fact is, after talking to a great number of couples, I found out that many successful relationships out there did not develop from “love at first sight”. Interestingly, their first encounter was a tepid affair, but as they went out more often over time, they gradually started to develop feelings for each other.

Some people think that if there are no sparks on the first date, it’s a foregone conclusion. But the fact is, he/she may be the life partner you’re looking for! It’s like stumbling across an unpolished stone not knowing that it’s a valuable diamond in disguise. Be patient, and don’t give up immediately.

ii) Give yourself time

In all likelihood, you’d not be able to find out everything you want to know about the other person on a first date. Often, you end up finding out very little if there’s little conversation during the date (eg. due to nervousness), or if the conversation focused on other topics.

So, to be fair to yourself and to your date, arrange follow-up dates where you can have more time to talk and find out more about each other. You can also communicate via other channels such as SMS, email and online chat. Give yourself time to know each other better before you decide if there’s potential for a serious relationship.
 

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